I Miss You

Yesterday as I lay on the table waiting for the technician to wrap my legs up in air compression "gizmos", I thought of you.

Many years have already passed since you left us for your immortal home. I think about you often but mostly now instead of grief and sadness, I thank God you are no longer here to suffer and that you aren't in pain anymore.

But now and then I think of you and I miss you. Like now. I'm alone in this room and in these rare moments of time where I just lie and try to relax, thoughts come to me unbidden. I've made a point in these moments to thank God and to praise him for everything he has done for me; for the life he has given me, for the way he has sustained me, for the joys and the tribulations, and even for my body which despite it's problems, he has given me. I'm learning to be thankful for everything. But sometimes, other thoughts do come in.  I've had a lot of time over the past month to just lie down several times a week for an hour at a time each time I get a leg treatment.  It is at these times that I think deep thoughts about many things. Yesterday I thought of you.

I thought of your daughter who has done so well despite her missing you. I tell her how much you love her and how you look down on her from Heaven. It brings her so much comfort when I say 'mommy is in Heaven and she looks down on you. She is flying around with the angels".  At that point, she always, repeats "angels?" and I say "Yes, mommy is with the angels. Some day we will see her again when we die but we have to wait. It isn't time yet." She seems to understand now. She knows you are still with us though she cannot see you. In the early years she would say "Mommy come back now." and she would cry and plead.  She thought you had been away in Heaven for too long.  It was heartbreaking to hear that. I know she is still very sad at times and I imagine that she cries at night when she is alone.  I pray for her always and show her as much love and fun as possible. We all do our parts to try and bring joy to her and keep her spirits uplifted and she seems to be happy and contented.

Right now she misses her one and only brother who has come here to live and go to university. She will be happy this weekend when she sees him because he is going to visit both her and "grandma". They will be so happy to see him.  You would be so proud of him. He has been working for years now in addition to going to college locally. Now he has decided to pursue a degree at university in the big city, he says he is determined to make me proud of him.  If you were here, he would tell you that he is determined to make you proud of him. He has a lot of talents that the Lord has given Him and so I pray for his success in life and for things to go smoothly despite the challenges of student life.

I started out by saying how much I miss you and then I got into telling you the news of your children.  I know how much you loved them and how concerned you were about their future. I just want you to know they are okay though they both miss you still. How can I blame them when I miss you still?

When I think about you I think about your ready smile and how your face lit up the entire room with your beautiful face and loving spirit. I realize now how patient you had to be to raise your children, especially one with special needs.  You did the best you could and for that I am so thankful and proud of you.

I miss your laugh. I miss the way we would joke about the difficulties or bad news we would get.  We knew that God would help us and sustain us and we had to hang on to that in the storms of life through mom's illness and yours.  Our Maker gave us so much laughter and joy despite our tribulations and since you are no longer here it doesn't seem like we laugh nearly as much.  I miss the way you would call mom every day and bring her joy. You would be happy to know that mom now has help and people to look after her health.  Though she (and we) had a very rough ride of things, things seem to be calmer now. She is looking forward to things again.  I miss the way you and I got so close. I miss the holiday I wanted to take you  on to Hawaii. I really wanted you to enjoy that trip and we were so, so close to going. I imagine in Heaven, the scenery and the beauty made up for not seeing Hawaii here on earth.  I miss your hugs.  Besides me, you are the only one who really gave a good hug and didn't mind a good hug.  I miss the family celebrations we were not able to have with you. We just celebrated mom's 75th with a small dinner and cake.

I want to tell you again that I love you and that the memories of your sweet presence blesses me still.  Sis, I don't feel sad about you most days because I know there is no pain, no tears, no suffering where you are. That is just so awesome. Though I tell your daughter that you are looking down on us to bring her comfort, the truth is that I do not really believe that.  If you were looking down on us you might feel the pain or involvement in this world and that is not what Heaven is. In Heaven you do not have the concerns of this world anymore and for that I can rejoice.

Photo credit: Jonah at Missions of Hope

I know we will see each other again some day after we put off these mortal bodies. I don't know just exactly how we will relate to each other in Heaven because we will all be sons and daughters of God there.  Whatever it is, I'm sure it will be glorious. God has promised a wonderful place and I believe it.  Love sis.

Good News out of Kenya

I read this article at www.allAfrica.com news today. It is welcome news indeed.  I applaud the Kenyan government for this vision to help keep the country in food security. I hope they have the fortitude to see it through to completion and moreover, that the plan meets with success.  I've been hearing about the plan for awhile but haven't actually read anything official until now.

In my own work with farmers to help them plant and fertilizer their fields, I know that it can get very expensive for a subsistence farmer.  So I was happy to hear that part of the plan involves making seeds and fertilizers available to farmers at an affordable price. I just hope that farmers can afford the price.  Inflation has been so high in Kenya over the last two years and virtually all necessities have doubled or tripled in cost, while the Kenyan currency has lost a lot of strength on the world market.

My own photo of the Perkarra Irrigation Project near Marigat. See the fields are green in this dry and arid place.

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ABOUT 1.2million hectares will be irrigated in the next five years as part of the government plan to eradicate drought-related hunger in the country, President Kibaki has said.

Speaking during the official opening of the 2011 Nairobi International Trade Fair on Friday, President Kibaki said this will reduce the country's reliance on rain-fed agriculture and guarantee the country food security. "I am directing the ministry of Water and Irrigation, the ministry of Agriculture and the Treasury to put in place adequate measures that will ensure that this is achieved," Kibaki said.

He said the government is committed to support the continued growth of the agricultural sector. "We are determined to see the transformation of this sector from one that mainly focuses on subsistence to commercial and market-oriented," said Kibaki. He added that infrastructure such as transport and energy plays an important role in agriculture and therefore the government had in the last seven years embarked on an ambitious road construction progamme.

Kibaki urged crop and livestock farmers to increase their production and benefit from the enhanced access to markets and improved distribution networks. In 2010 agriculture registered a growth of about 6 percent which is the highest achieved in the country in four years. The growth was fueled by the rise in the production of tea,cereals,sugar and coffee.

He noted that Kenya's food production has declined over the last few years due to several factors like drought,escalating food and fuel prices as well as high cost of farm inputs like fertilisers. He assured Kenyans that some measures had been set in place to mitigate the impact of increasing food prices. "The government has waived import duty on maize and wheat for a period of six months with effect from July this year," Kibaki said.

He added that the government had put in places measures to ensure that key agricultural inputs are available to farmers at an affordable price. "The ministry of Agriculture has a stock of about 40,000 metric tones of assorted fertiliser and adequate seeds for the next short rains,"Kibaki said. Present at the function was Vice President Kalonzo Musyoka, minister for Agriculture Sally Kosgei among others.

Kalonzo urged the participants,exhibitors and farmers to take advantage of the trade fair to enhance food security in the country as well as earn the country foreign exchange and reduce the rate of inflation. 360 exhibitors were present in the trade fair to exchange their products including China, France, South Africa, Nigeria, Sudan, Israel, Uganda among others. Kosgei urged the government to subsidise seeds and fertilisers inputs to help smallscale farmers afford the cost.

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