The Weekend & Some Heavy Thoughts

Hi friends and fellow bloggers,

How are things going with you?

I'm doing okay. I've had a fairly bad cold all week but I'm feeling a bit better now. I've gone out here and there to pick up a parcel at the post office and to do a bit of food shopping. I also tried valiantly but unsuccessfully to reach the car insurance place. Basically I'm returning their call about physiotherapy treatments. I'll have to try again next week.

On Friday night DH and I went off to see the new Black Panther movie, Wakanda Forever. It was quite touching in parts and beautifully done. However I still think the first Black Panther movie a few years ago was a tighter story line and I enjoyed it so much.  Don't get me wrong though. The new movie is worth watching; especially if you've seen the first installment. There are some new characters who add a lot of depth. The movie is very long at 2.5 hours and I'm glad we went to a showing that was in early evening. The movie ends in such a way as to anticipate more movies in future.

 

Other than errands, shopping and a movie, I spent the weekend trying to get some rest and worked on a financial project I've had in mind for months. I've been saving all my food receipts for the last 6 months and wanted to input them all into a spreadsheet.  I finally did it and it was a real eye opener it was as to exactly how much money was spent on groceries.  It's astronomical  It's also interesting to see how the spending progressed every month due to the rampant inflation and whether shopping at different stores made a difference in stretching the dollars. I also started waiting a few extra days to a week to buy something we ran out of and stopped buying things altogether if they were too expensive. Food costs were extremely high in June and July.  Shopping around and delayed purchases made a big difference in September ($200 + savings) and an even bigger difference in October ($350 savings).

I'll be keeping track of all expenses, not just food expenses, for the rest of the year and possibly beyond.  But hopefully I won't procrastinate about inputting receipt information in future.  You can  imagine that it took some time to organize all the receipts and put them in order before I started inputting the data. Tracking the household income and spending will help DH and I with planning our budgets an setting our short-term and long-term financial goals.

Besides daily routines, I watched a very limited amount of television this weekend. Instead I spent some time talking to a relative and a long time friend who is going through a dark time. His life has completely changed over the past year because he developed some kind of spinal problem and can no longer stand up or walk.  Physiotherapy hasn't helped and he no longer wants to live so he's been exploring Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID). He's always been a person who experiences a lot of emotional upheaval and various problems and over time his life has become harder and harder mainly due to physical challenges and health issues. 

It's hard to be a friend to someone who wants to die and talks often about dying.  I really don't believe he wants to die but I do know he hates living in a wheelchair. I know that whatever I say will not change his mind and I no longer offer advice or try to talk him out of what he says he wants to do. I don't believe in taking one's own life with medical assistance except in the very rarest of circumstances.  But sadly it's become quite common in Canada and especially in my province for people to end their lives with the help of medical professionals. Recently this option was expanded to include those with mental health problems. I remember hearing about euthanasia as a child. At my tender years I wondered how a society could legalize dying yet here we are now in my country doing the same thing. How did we ever get to this point as a society?

I do understand when some people no longer want to live but the numbers just seem far too high in Canada.  These days there are so many people falling through the cracks of society and the disabled and mentally ill are particularly vulnerable. If they only had adequate supports (housing, food, therapy) I think a lot of them would not consider dying early as an option though there will still be some that want to choose their time and place. Medical assistance in dying (MAID) has gotten so popular as an option despite being an option for a short time in Canada. MAID was enacted in June 2016.

Data shows that 10,064 people died in 2021 with medical aid, an increase of 32 per cent over 2020. The report says that 3.3 per cent of all deaths in Canada in 2021 were assisted deaths. On a provincial level, the rate was higher in provinces such as Quebec, at 4.7 per cent, and British Columbia, at 4.8 per cent.

MAID Requests and Outcomes (CANADA), 2019 to 2021

I've been thinking of the MAID issue because the subject was featured on television recently due to the expansion of the laws.  Obviously too, with my friend having applied for MAID (I don't know if he heard anything about his application yet) I paid attention to the broadcast. I was alarmed at the high numbers and the fact that Canada's euthanasia numbers have soared so quickly in comparison to the Netherlands, the first country to legalize euthanasia. However, I did a quick google search and found that the numbers of applications and deaths in the Netherlands has also dramatically risen over the past several years. and doubled from 2002 to 2009. It's a sad state to think so many want to end their lives.

Obviously there are many people who are greatly struggling and governments are under pressure to respond to public demands. In Canada, the MAID issue came about due to some very sick people advocating all the way to the Supreme Court of Canada for their right to die and others who lobbied politically. Now that the government has responded and met their demands, it seems like they are getting a bit carried away by expanding the laws to make it easier for the mentally ill to get MAID.  I'm greatly concerned about the future. We've already had a veteran  being asked by a Veteran's Affairs employee if they considered MAID when what they needed was mental health support. Part of the problem it seems, and some doctors who review MAID applications have said, that is it harder to get appropriate treatments and supports that it is to get MAID. A very sad and concerning state of affairs.

Sorry for the heavy thoughts but this is what is on my mind tonight. When I'm faced with such difficult thoughts, I'm grateful I have my faith and my hope in God. I'm also glad that I can pray for others. It's been my experience that many who are not Christian and don't pray, feel comforted by prayer and will even ask for prayer when they are going through challenging times.

Keep well friends. Stay safe and if you are going through hardships, please reach out to someone near you or call a helpline.

Time has a Way of Moving On

Dear reader,

Where does the time go? It seems that the older one gets the quicker time passes and the Christmas season we just had is no exception.

This past Christmas was the first time I was at my own home for Christmas.  There was only one other time I was far from home and family at Christmas.  I didn't remain at my home though because I had been invited to a friend's for the holiday. I wanted to stay home but she insisted that no one should be alone at Christmas so I accepted her hospitality.  This year, I had a number of plans but everything was in limbo until the last moments before Christmas.  In the end I was at home and it was okay. I was looking forward to it and I thought I might actually have a nice rest from all the busyness of constant appointments concerning my leg, and all kinds of errands to run, before Christmas. Not!

It was quiet but it wasn't restful because I was very busy. Besides the rush of buying and getting Christmas gifts in the post (yes, this year I did buy gifts!), decorating my home and my tree, planning and buying food for Christmas dinner and generally getting things tidied up, I had a number of other unexpected projects.

A blogging friend of mine, Caroline, has been wanting to change up her blog for a very long time. I offered to try and help her though I am not a blog designer as such. Caroline had her own ideas about what she wanted and I learned that my skill set wasn't advanced enough to complete some of the specific work.  Not to fear though as I was able to give Caroline what she wanted through the assistance of my brother.  In the end, Caroline was happy with the overall result and I was happy to have helped her achieve her goal.

I had another unexpected project to help my nephew with his budgeting.  I didn't know that he had been struggling and was seriously considering dropping out of university.  Though he doesn't live with me and has an  "affordable" rental that he shares with others, we live in one of the most expensive cities in Canada,  perhaps even in all of North America (exception New York City), and the burden of the finances were proving to be too  much for him. 

I offered to take a look at his budget and see what the shortfall is and whether we could save his year. It took awhile to get all of his financials and to create a budget and a cash flow to the end of the school  year.  It was also a bit challenging figuring out what his real costs are in a few areas because of the holiday.  At this moment, he is also trying to renegotiate some of those costs.  We've established a food budget and come up with nutritious and affordable menu ideas and places to shop. They are menu ideas as opposed to recipes but I've kept them simple and easy. It will require that he shops the sales and cooks more.  He did say that he has been cooking more since he moved here so those skills will help him.  We have chatted about living within the budget categories, the difference between "needs vs. wants" and how to use a credit card. Shortfalls in the budget and ideas about how to meet them while trying to successfully manage a course load, were also important aspects of the budget "summit".

As an auntie and surrogate parent,  I feel it is my duty to demonstrate some "tough love". It is the first time that my advice and suggestions appear to be listened to and accepted. That means, this can be a very good learning experience for which life long skills can be learned and applied though I know it will be very challenging for him.  I will also be saving funds monthly for when he finishes his term as he will have no money left over to cover bills until the first pay cheque.  He hopes to sublet his bedroom which will help him a lot.  But he needs a back up plan if that doesn't work out and he still needs money until first pay cheque even if that does work out. I have a few stipulations for giving my help:  no credit card usage and renegotiating credit card interest rate, getting on equal payments for electricity costs, no gym membership, taking thermos (flask) coffee to university, no entertainment unless it comes out of the food budget. The budget is very strict. There is no fat. He will need to bite the bullet and commit to the plan or the year will have been a lost one in the sense that he will have incurred significant debt from student loans.  At least the debt will have been for a useful purpose, if he is able to finish the year and complete his courses with good grades.  Though the budget is very tight, I do feel it can be met with some hard effort and discipline.

I have tough conditions because I want him to learn financial discipline and responsibility for his own actions. If I was overly strict, I would simply say "get yourself out of it" and "you made your bed", but I think people need second chances. Sometimes you get a second chance and sometimes you don't.  In this case, he has a chance to set things right and it is now or never to learn some good financial management skills.  I've seen him struggle with some of the same financial issues now for several years though in different circumstances and he needs help but he can only benefit if he is willing. Right now to make some effort to change because he doesn't want to lose out on his entire academic year. Sadly, the issues he faces are not uncommon.  There are many people who fritter away hard earned money on "nothings", racking up debt, and wondering where the money goes.

To his credit, he does know that there are certain things that are costing him too much (like debit card bank fees) but he doesn't know how to fix the problems. He tries but then it seems to lead to other issues and then he gets into a cycle of issues.  I'm sure many of you reading this can relate and have had to deal with these kinds of issues yourself, or seen loved ones with similar issues, but different circumstances. I too, can relate, because I always had to learn things the hard way with  no one to teach me or guide me about financial matters. Thankfully I was able to begin to learn and get some measure of control over the myriad financial issues that we all have to deal with every day.

My medical issues and associated costs are another thing I was dealing with over Christmas.  As part of better financial management,  I wanted to get all the benefits from my extended health coverage for the year 2011 as I could. I'm still experiencing a sore knee and so I went to as many physiotherapy and registered massage therapy sessions as I am allowed under my health plan.  I also filled my eye prescription and my pharmacy prescriptions for the next several months.  Once 2012 rolls around, I have to pay a deductible before I get any prescriptions filled. I like to prolong that payment.  As a result of all this activity over the holiday, I now have my receipts ready for submission to the insurance plan.  I won't have the problem I often have of losing track of my receipts since I can submit them all at once.

Finally, I managed to take stock of my goals in 2011 and set new ones for 2012. I've got a busy year ahead and I am hoping that soon I can enjoy myself without the level of knee and leg pain present I had this past year.  I still have pain but hopefully things are improving. I do notice my right leg muscles and knee cap are not stiff like they have been for at least half a year.  Hopefully the stretching and exercises will really help.

Things have been much busier than I could have anticipated over the holiday but I feel like I am ahead of the ball for 2012 and ready to make the best of things.

A photo of a gate I took in Chinatown.

The truth is that right now I am a little tired so I probably won't be blogging that much for a few weeks. I want to enjoy the next few weeks and take things slowly as I begin to implement my plan for 2012. I hope you will come back from time to time and see me once I am back.