You are very welcome here at Toni Taddeo's Tuesday 4. We all take and give advice at least once in our lives.1. Is there one piece of advice you were given that you feel has been very important in your life?
Yes, to stand up for what I think is right even if I have to stand alone. In my lifetime there have been occasions when I've had to implement this advice and stay strong on my own (and of course with the help of God).
In later adult, years I heard a quote by Sir Winston Churchill I also took to heart. Perhaps you've heard it.
“You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks.” (Sir Winston Churchill).
The reason I found it helpful is I have a tendency to drop everything to help someone else who perceives they need a listening ear. I get this from my later mother who was very giving and very self-sacrificing. It's a symptom of how she was raised as a motherless daughter and the expectations others placed on her. Over a long period of doing this, I realized that it was hampering my ability to get things done, whether large or small, because there could be so many interruptions in a day.
These days, I strive for a better balance between making myself available, especially at crucial times, and focussing on my own goals and priorities. It's a form of self-care and it's also a way to be a better steward of the time God has given me.
2. What advice do you think is important for building good personal relationships?
Understanding that every person has a story and sometimes they need someone to listen to it. It's also important to really listen to others and try not to give them too much unsolicited advice. The longer and the better I get to know someone, the more I get a sense of when to keep opinions to myself and when to offer advice. Of course, some people straight out ask for advice.
One thing I've learned in this life's journey is that there are also people who are known as energy vampires. These are people who sometimes intentionally, drain your emotional energy. They feed on your willingness to listen and care for them, leaving you exhausted and overwhelmed. I have actually met several of these kinds of people especially when I was just starting out on my own. Once I recognized the situation, I had to learn to put up boundaries and sometimes even cut out certain kind of people, especially those that like to complain a lot and look to you to prop them up emotionally. We all need a bit of this kind of emotional support, however when it is constant and overwhelming, it's my belief that someone needs professional assistance.
3. Do you give advice to friends when they have problems to solve or do you refrain unless asked?When I was a young adult I often gave advice, solicited or not. These days I refrain from giving advice unless I'm asked. Even then I don't readily offer detailed advice.
4. What advice can you give us today?
Be grateful for each day because tomorrow is not promised to us. That is what I'm trying to do myself. Also, it's good to learn to be content in life and to honour what the Lord has given to us. I get inspiration from the Apostle Paul in this regard who said (Philippians 4:11-13, NIV).
11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry,whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
Take care everyone. Thank you for stopping by!
